Spend some time
Thinking about sunlight
How it filters through windows
Leaving warm golden squares
On the thick carpet and
Creep up the walls as
Dusk approaches
When I was little
I was enamored by the patterns
Of the dust in the air
I would wipe the dusty spines
Of adult books in the rays
To watch it swirl
Exhale into the light
To watch the dancing particles
And in the winter I would
Find these squares and
Sit in them until they
Moved away with the sunset
And for completely different
Reasons, my other name was
Sunshine
I didn’t know it then but
I must have felt connected
When I first went to college I
Would spend time in
The cafeteria
Which had corners with glass
Ceilings and soft chairs
Always the best seats
So rare to find one free
And I was worn down so much
So beaten by existence
Even with a sharp wind outside
Beneath the grubby arch of glass
All was calm and warm there
All was well
I don’t live there anymore
I am so far from the same person
But this room doesn’t get golden rays
I am hard pressed to find them at all
Except on spring afternoons
Or when I’m out in the day
There’s a lot of depth and shadow here
Not as bad as it seems
I imagine I have just been
Searching for my past lights
